佚名
Anonymous
MymouthfeltdryasIfollowedmymotherintothedoctorsrivateofficeandsankintoaaddedchairnexttohers。Thisdoctordidntcarryastethoscoe。Hehadaroomfullofgadgetsandgizmostoanalyzethelearningabilitiesoffailingstudents。Thatdayhehadanalyzedme。
Heshuffledaersandjabbedhiswireframeglasseswithaforefinger。“Imsorrytotellyouthis,Mrs。Dow,butPeterhasdyslexia。Afairlyseverecase。”
Iswallowedandtriedtobreathe。Thedoctorwenton。“Hellneverreadabovethefourth-gradelevel。Sincehewontbeabletocomletehighschoolrequirements,Isuggestyouenrollhiminatradeschoolwherehecanlearntoworkwithhishands。”
Ididntwanttogototradeschool。Iwantedtobeareacher,likemydad。Myeyesfilledwithtears,butIforcedthemback。Atwelve-year-oldwastoobigtocry。
Momstoodu,soIjumedtomyfeet,too。“Thankyou,Doctor,”shesaid。“Comealong,Peter。”
Wedrovehomewithoutsayingmuch。Ifeltnumb。Dyslexia?Idneverheardtheworduntillastweek。Sure,Iwasalwaystheslowestkidinmyclass。DuringrecessIhadasecialhidinglacebehindashrub。ThereIwouldcrybecauseIcouldntdomylessonsnomatterhowhardItried。
Ofcourse,Inevertoldmymomaboutthatartofschool。Iwastooashamed。Ididntwanttoworryher,either。Shehadenoughonhermindwithteachingschoolfull-timeandtakingcareofDad,mytwobrothers,mysisterandme。
MomandIarrivedhomebeforetherestofthefamily。Iwasglad。Iwantedsometimealone。Withmychinalmosttouchingmychest,Iulledoffmycoatandhungitinthecloset。WhenIturnedaroundmymotherwasstandingrightinfrontofme。Shedidntsayanything。Shejuststoodtherelookingintomyeyeswithtearsrunningdownhercheeks。Seeinghercrywastoomuchforme。BeforeIknewwhatwashaening,Iwasinherarmsbawlinglikeabigbaby。Afewminuteslater,sheledmeintothelivingroomtothecouch。
“Sitdown,honey。Iwanttotalktoyou。”
Irubbedmyeyeswithmysleeveandwaited,luckingatthecreaseinmytrousers。
“Youheardwhatthedoctorsaidaboutyournotfinishingschool。Idontbelievehim。”
Istoedsnifflingandlookedather。Hermildblueeyessmiledintomine。Behindthemlayanironwill。“Wellhavetoworkveryhard,youandI,butIthinkwecandoit。NowthatIknowwhattheroblemis,wecantrytoovercomeit。Imgoingtohireatutorwhoknowsaboutdyslexia。Illworkwithyoumyselfeveningsandweekends。”Hereyebrowsdrewdownassheeeredatme。“Areyouwillingtowork,Peter?Doyouwanttotry?”
Arayofhoeshonethroughthehazyfuture。“Yes,Mom。Iwanttorealhad。”
Thenextsixyearswereanendurancerunforbothofus。IstudiedwithatutortwiceaweekuntilIcouldhaltinglyreadmylessons。Eachnight,mymomandIsatatmylittledeskandrehearsedthatdaysschoolworkforatleasttwohours,sometimesuntilmidnight。Wedrilledfortestsuntilmyheadoundedandtherintblurredbeforemyeyes。Atleasttwiceaweek,Iwantedtoquit。Ihadthestrengthofakitten,butmymomscourageneverwavered。
Shedriseearlytorayovermyschoolday。AthousandtimesIheardhersay,“Lord,oenPetersmindtoday。Helhimrememberthethingswestudied。”
HervisionreachedbeyondthethreeRs。TwiceIwonatstatewideseechcometitions。Iarticiatedinschoolrogramsandearnedalicensetoworkasanannounceronalocalradiostation。
Thenmymotherdeveloedchronicmigrainesduringmysenioryear。Sheblamedtheheadachesonstress。Somedaystheintenseainketherinbed。Stillshedcometomyroomintheevening,wearingherrobe,aniceackinherhand,tostudywithme。
WelaughedandcriedwhenIassedmyseniorfinals。TwodaysbeforegraduationItalkedtomymotherandfatheraboutBiblecollege。Iwantedtogo,butIwasafraid。
Momsaid,“AlyattheBibleInstituteinourtown。Youcanliveathome,andIllhelyou。”
Iutmyarmsaroundherandhuggedherclose,abaseball-sizedluminmythroat。
Aweekaftergraduation,mymomfeltastabbingaininherhead。Shebecamedisorientedforjustamoment,butseemedtobeallright。Itwasanothermigraine,shethought,soshewenttobed。ThatnightDadtriedtowakeher。Shewasunconscious。
Afewhourslater,awhite-coateddoctortoldusMomhadananeurysmthathadburst。Amassivehemorrhageleftusnohoe。Shediedtwodayslater。
Mygriefalmostdrownedme。ForweeksIwalkedthefloorallnight,sometimesweeing,sometimesstaringatnothing。DidIhaveafuturewithoutmymother?Shewasmyeyes,myunderstanding,mylife。ShouldIstillenrollinBibleschool?Thethoughtofgoingonalonefilledmewithterror。But,deeinside,IknewIhadtomoveontothenextste,forher。
WhenIbroughthomethefirstsemestersbooksandcourseoutlines,Isatinthechairatmylittledesk。Withtremblingfingers,Ioenedmyhistorybookandbegantoreadthefirstchater。Suddenly,Ilookedoveratthechairsheusedtositin。Itwasemty,butmyheartwasfull。
Momsrayersstillfollowedme。Icouldfeelherresence。Icouldsenseherfaith。
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